Relief

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It’s 2:42 a.m.
And all the world’s asleep
Except for the lonely,
the hurt…
those begging for relief.

Relief for just an instant,
Just a small reprieve,
To stop the ache in your chest,
That even alcohol can’t relieve.

You fill your chest full of light
With the dawning of the day.
Full of kindness and love
But a price must be paid.

You pass thru each day.
Giving all that you have.
A gift of love never ending,
A smile when others are sad.

As the day comes to an end,
As you start winding down,
Time starts to crawl again
And you hear that sound.

A slow scream in your chest.
As you turn off all the lights,
Until you’re sitting with the bottle

Alone…

Again…

With the night.

Lesley Smith
~ The Peach Poet ~

Harbor — Safe

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The sun is shining
A cool breeze on my face
Birds are busy chirping
This is a tranquil place

A cup of coffee in my hand
The Good Book by my side
My heart is breaking
Tears, freely I cry

An ache in my heart
The pain is strong
Dear God above
Help me hold on

The need I feel for him
Is in my soul
A longing for a love
I thought I’d never know

I can feel him near me
Two hearts connected
To be his only still lingers
The need to feel protected

He moved my soul
Knew my heart
Touched a place inside of me
That was his from the start

I feel lost at sea
Awash on the waves
A ship lost in the wind
His arms my harbor — safe

-Lesley Smith
The Peach Poet

Night Has Fallen

Alas, night has fallen
I close my eyes to sleep
I wish he could see
All the love that I keep.

Waiting patiently
Arms open wide
Love hurts…when
It is only on one side.

It seems this is a constant
I know nothing else
This heart still beats regularly
But the pain is ever felt.

So tonight I close my eyes
And dream of a far away land
Where wishes are a wish away
And love is not sleight of hand.

The Lady

Dresses and pearls
Stockings and lace
Silk fabric and curls
The Lady fits her place.

Beneath all the rich finery
Hidden deep within her eyes
Is a woman wanting something
That she left far behind.

Though her life is different
Then she ever thought it would be
Inside lives the young girl
Who was once brave, wild and free.

You see her as a Lady
One of beauty and grace
She’s elegant, sweet and kind
A smile always on her face.

Someone knew her long ago
When her eyes were alight
A fire burned in her
Even the Sun thought was bright.

Her light was a beacon
That drew many to her flame
And I was the willing moth
That was ready to play the game.

Her love was strong and wild
Perfect was her place
Always her open arms surrounded me
Between us there was no space

Love like that is scary
When two souls collide
When peace and solace is found
On that magical ride.

I was hesitant to love
To give all of me
For you see, she gave so sweetly
It was candy to me.

No need for me to share
My deepest thoughts and fears
I took for granted all the things she gave
And I left her in tears.

I was a foolish man
Who could have set the world asunder
But I let go of one of life’s
unattainable wonders.

A beauty full of light and love
Who connected my soul to hers
A gift from God above
One whom I never deserved.

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By My Side

It’s been a never ending constant…
Of highs and lows.
I even got past some major blows.

I learned alot about people
Who cares and who cares not..
People use people with just a passing thought.

Through it all I held my head high
Believing in time all would be fine.
I loved with passion that can not be mine.

I have cried so many tears.
A river flowing full.
Only to find it made me feel like a fool.

My heart is broken but my will is strong…
For someone believed in me all along.
Lifting me up, to comfort and guide
For He promised to never leave my side.

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Revelry

The light is dim as I awoke
The grey sky of morn has broke
Birds of the air start their song
And in my heart I follow along

Their song is full of life
Of a new day dawn
A tale of Robin and
All of her little Robin young

The sun creeps slowly
Over the misty covered grass
Rising ever slowly making
Each ray just a passing glance

The moon sees this
And politely takes his leave
I will come back dearest he says
For you I could never decieve

The grasshoppers awake
To start the day
Making a violin Sonata
With just the instruments they play

A solo butterfly travels along
Knowing just last night
Her transformation had come
She knows now were she belongs

As for me sitting here
Alone ‘cept for my tea
Surrounded by beauty and the revelry
My heart follows the music all around
And in my soul solace is found

My Beloved Part Four….. Memories

My Beloved Part One… The Awakening

My Beloved Part Two….The Realization

My Beloved Part Three…..Beth

“You see Beth, I’m not going to the light. You and I are going to find the son of a bitch that killed me.”

The light, dim from the dirty lamp shade, cascades out and engulfs the small living room of the boathouse where Beth stands. The light does little to cover the impending sense of dread she feels from the words Carl just spoke.

“Carl, Do you know what you’re saying? You are upset, understandably, it is natural to feel this way.”

“Yes, I am upset but mostly I’m angry and I want to know why and who did this to me. I thought about this as I sat and looked at my own dead body. I wept for what seemed like hours. Afterward I thought, who could hate me so much to shoot me in the head and leave me for the gators in this god forsaken swamp. I want answers and you can help me get them.”

“I know you want answers Carl, but it is impossible to find them. From my experience you have to accept what has happened and let me help you to move on. Let me help you find the light.”

I looked at Carl, his head hanging low staring at the floor, his handsome face was in turmoil from what I could see of it and I knew what I said never registered. I felt tired and upset, sometimes this “gift” of mine was no such thing. I slowly made my way over to the sofa and sat down softly.

“I remembered Beth.” Carl raised his head defiantly and stared in my eyes. His eyes are cold as steel and the darkest blue. “As I was staring at my body one of my memories came back to me. I was traveling to Potter’s Marsh from someplace far away. It was a Friday. I was coming here to meet someone. I remember driving Beth, listening to the radio and arriving in a wooded area of the swamp. It was dusk as I put my truck into park. As I was stepping out , lights from another vehicle blinded me. I remember not being able to see and hearing a car door shut and footsteps approaching, making crunching sounds from all the underbrush around us. I even remember a silhouette standing there but then it was gone. My memory was gone, just like the last piece of pie at a weight watchers meeting, it disappeared. I know I can remember more if you help me.”

” Carl, Please I can’t…I just can’t.” I watch as he reaches into his pocket and pulls something out. It is small, rectangular shaped, and leather. At once I knew it was his wallet. I watched as he handed it to me.

” Take it Beth he said.”

” Carl, I can’t take it because it isn’t here. You are a ghost, a spirit, solid forms can’t be with you. It is still back with your body.”

Just then he threw it at me, My first reaction was to duck but then I knew that the wallet was not going anywhere. I heard a loud thud as it landed in front of me on the coffee table, on top of the new weekly issue of T.V. Guide. I felt my lower jaw drop at once looking at the wallet in awe. I knew I shouldn’t be seeing the wallet or hearing it land. This was not logically possible.

“Jeeessusss!” I yell as I jump up and almost fall backwards over the couch. “How ? You shouldn’t….I mean you can’t, be able to do this Carl.” I can hear my voice rising an octave as my mind just can’t understand what I’m seeing. “You couldn’t have picked this up and brought it with you. It should be back with your body.”

“I learned something out there, on my knees weeping, remembering as much as I was able, I felt it boiling inside of me wanting to come out and I knew what it was so I let it.”

“What was it?” I asked still looking at the wallet in a daze but I already knew the answer.

“It was anger Beth, the seeing nothing but red kind. I started screaming even though I knew the gators couldn’t hear me. I did it anyway. I let it all out but it didn’t go away. The rage just increased and I went over to my lifeless body and started yelling at it, “YOU STUPID ASSHOLE! LOOK WHAT YOU DID, YOU WENT AND GOT YOURSELF SHOT IN THE HEAD!” That is when I felt this energy all around me, like a buzzing of a million wasps growing louder. I thought I was going to explode until I finally walked over and kicked my body with all the might I had. I watched stunned , as my body slowly fell over to one side.”

” Carl, you mean to tell me you moved your own dead body? Oh my, I say as I slowly sit back down on the couch. I can feel my legs start to shake.

“I was shocked at first and then I started laughing. I fell to my knees and maybe even went a little mad. I don’t know, but as I finally fell silent and sat listening to the swamp noises I realized what I had done. I thought if I could move my own body what is stopping me from moving other things. I felt exhausted and I knew all that energy I felt must have been what was used to move my body. So I sat there, rested for awhile, and looked at the scenery around me. What could I try to move? I saw something glimmering in the sunlight and eased myself up to take a look. I walked over to an old faded crumpled can of RC Cola. I tried hard at first reaching out to grab the can. My hand would pass through it like a sharp knife cuts through paper. I could actually feel the molecules in the can, I know that must sound crazy. I kept trying though and each time I failed to move it. I was getting really aggravated and pissed off and that is when I noticed something. I realized the more feelings I had like anger, aggravation, pain, hurt, and fear it made my energy increase. I could build it up to the buzzing sound I heard earlier and then just like that I could move the can. After awhile I was able to pick up the can. It took a lot out of me each time Beth, I was exhausted but I did it. It was during one of those times of rest that I thought of my wallet. It must hold some answers about me, right? After several attempts I got it.”

“Beth, are you still with me? You’re very quiet.”

I was looking at the wallet still on the table in front of me. A very expensive one with real leather and gold initials that say C.F.R. A man’s wallet. That is what it is but it is so much more. How can this be? I don’t understand. “Beth?” He says gently. I can hear the worry and the pleading in his voice to understand and for my help.

“Carl, I have never seen this before. No dead that I have ever met had the ability to move things or pick them up. I just don’t know what to say.”

“Don’t you think it’s a sign? He walked over closer to the table. We can do this, we can find out who murdered me. Us working together. Please Beth, I will never be able to rest until I know.”

I looked up into his blue eyes. They were no longer dark blue with anger now they were light blue like a cloudless day in the spring. The pleading in them was just to much for my heart. So I decided to help him and knew it was probably the biggest mistake of my life.

“Carl, If we do this how do you think we would even begin?”

“With my wallet, open it up, take out all the contents and let’s go through them.”

He actually smiled when he said that and his smile, well let’s just say it could make a grown woman weak in the knees. I smiled back and took a seat on the couch. Yep..my knees were weak. I reached out and opened the wallet and placed all the contents on the coffee table before me. Just as I finished I felt a cold breeze beside me. “I hope you don’t mind me sitting beside you. I want to see for myself.” He flashed his smile again. He was even more handsome up close. Oh boy, I was right this is going to be the biggest mistake of my life. “I don’t mind.” I replied sweetly.

First up his drivers license, I reach and pick it up and the first thing I see is the shape of the state of Texas shimmering in silver across the front. “I see you’re from Texas Carl.” I look at him and no emotion is showing on his face. I continue on and start to read the information out loud. “Carlton Franklin Richmond The third, 1160 Fairfield Drive Dallas,Texas 75201, Date of birth May 1st 1974, Age 40, height 6 foot 1, weight 195, eyes blue, hair blonde.” I reach out to grab the next card from his wallet.

“Beth.” It was just barely audible and quietly whispered but something in his tone made me turn fast and look at him.

“I remember who I am. I am from a long line of oil tycoons from Texas. The “Rich” Richmond’s as we are called in Dallas Society. I am a multi-billionaire.

****** Coming Soon Part 5 Of My Beloved: The Billionaire *******

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